What are your thoughts telling you?
How often do you go through your day actively thinking about what you are thinking about? Take a minute and really let that soak in. Do you think about what you’re thinking about, or do you think it without realizing it? It’s accurate to assume that we all have thoughts that run through our head, yet we don’t actually take the time to dwell on them and recognize if it’s a positive or negative thought. A worthwhile thought or a destructive thought.
The average person has 6,200 thoughts per day. Of those thoughts, those thousands of thoughts, 80% are negative, and 95% are repetitive thoughts from the day before. Read that again… 80% of those thousands of thoughts were negative, and yet we wonder why we are in a funk, or feeling off, unworthy, helpless, worthless, unable.
It’s impossible to dwell on that many thoughts throughout the day, but just because we don’t dwell on them doesn’t mean we don’t have them or more importantly doesn’t mean they don’t affect us. Just because we don’t think about a thought doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t believe it to be true, especially if 95% of those thoughts are repeated over multiple days. If we hear it enough, we will believe it to be true.
Negative thoughts almost always have a ripple effect... One thought leads to another, to another, to another, and next thing you know you’ve convinced yourself that these things will happen, and your actions have now lined up with this tangled web you’ve created to be true in your head. It’s a sticky, messy, dangerous road that we all find ourselves on far too often.
If you find yourself stuck in a rhythm of negative thoughts throughout the day, here are a couple of ways to bring awareness to your thoughts, change your thought process, and hopefully bring out more positive, worthwhile thoughts.
First, you need to identify the common ANTs that are regularly distorting your mind. Automatic negative thoughts (ANT) is the first thought you have when you have a strong feeling or reaction to something, similar to a reflex. These are learned over many years and can be very persistent and destructive to our minds if we let them. Identifying these ANTs may not be as easy as it sounds, so breaking down the scenario where you find yourself experiencing an ANT is helpful.
What was the situation?
Who, what, where, when…
What was your mood?
What were you feeling? Frustrated, anxious, nervous, guilt, shame…
What was the thought or image that automatically comes to mind?
I’m so fat, I never follow through with anything, I’m so dumb, I’m a failure, I have no value…
Now that you’ve discovered and worked through your automatic thoughts, it’s important to take the time to actually test them. Say you are working with an AIM coach, this is the second time you’re trying to make your nutrition a priority, and you have a bad day of eating. Your ANT after giving into a chocolate bar is “I can’t commit to anything, I always give into food and can never stay on track”.
Is there evidence to support this thought? I am not asking about the past, I am asking about right here, right now. No, because you recently took a step to work on improving your relationship with food by seeking help from a coach and working towards a healthier version of you. So rather than focusing on evidence that supports your thoughts, focus on evidence that supports reality.
Thought: I can’t commit to anything
Evidence for the thought:
I wasn’t able to fully commit the last time I worked with a coach
I made a bad decision with food today
My nutrition is ruined for the day
Evidence against the thought:
I re-committed myself to a coach because my health and nutrition is a priority in my life, which means I am willing to put in the time and work to get there.
I made a mistake, but that doesn’t place any value on who I am or what I am capable of doing. I will learn and grow from this mistake and continue to work towards my goals despite a little hiccup.
Even though I caved and had a candy bar, I will continue to stick to my target numbers and not let this de-rail my whole day.
Now that you have gathered the evidence for and against your thoughts, it’s up to you to decide what you are going to let your mind follow. Recognize the evidence of the situation, but don’t let the negative thought bring you down a spiral. Find a more balanced alternative thought and allow yourself to keep moving forward towards progress in your thoughts and the actions that lead from them.
6,200 thoughts in a day… We can’t stop how many thoughts we have, but we can work to change what kind of thoughts they are. Today, this week, this month, focus on thinking about your thoughts and what direction they are taking you. What are you telling yourself?
Disclaimer: If you are continually and repeatedly having negative, degrading, and/or hurtful thoughts, we encourage you to go seek professional help. You are so much more than what you think or hear to be true, let a professional walk with you and support you through the process of finding your value and worth.
